I am trying to work on my invisibility issues. This is harder than you can imagine.
I love being invisible. It is who I am. It is my security blanket. Take it away, and I have nothing. I have shared so much on this blog due to the simple fact that you cannot see me. This is where I get my courage.
People who see me every day know very little about me, where I feel as though you know just about everything. I share my random thoughts, my fears, my failures and triumphs, my hopes and dreams. I hold back a certain amount, but that is as it should be, some things are just meant to be kept in the heart. But I feel safe here. Things I share so confidently with you, I stumble over in real life. The words do not make any sense as they come out of my mouth, and I am usually left feeling… inadequate. Misunderstood, perhaps. So, I just don’t say much. I keep my thoughts tucked safely away where nobody else can see them.
I promised Rob that I would share a picture by the end of the month. Just me. Alone. Perhaps it is a way of owning up to what I share on this blog. Or maybe just to put a face to all the insanity. Either way, a promise is a promise. And, as my deadline quickly approaches, I realized that I can either put is off until the very last second, or I can embrace it and simply do it.
Invisible no more. That is me over on the side there. The one with all the insanity running around in her head. The one who loves your company. I may never get it right in the outside world, but I can share my heart with you.
You know what’s funny? This isn’t nearly as hard as I thought it would be.