Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
1. No matter how old you get, you are never too old for a Birthday Party.
2. Party hats can double as nose-pickers, just make sure you use someone elses.
3. The more uses you can find for a birthday gift, the better.
3. Teach your children as many bad habits as you possibly can.
4. Never, ever let your children play with fire.
5. Having the fire department on stand-by is probably a very good idea. (And wax is edible… we hope.)
6. Make sure to count your candles before you blow them out, because if you find out that there were three too many after you’ve blown them out, then you are out of luck.
7. Remember that you are loved, and have an awesome day, because you only turn 44 once.