My 52: Week 22

A drive out to Benton Lake proved that the pelicans are indeed back! There were quite a few of them, but they didn’t seem to like us watching them because they kept flying further and further across the lake. They are amazing birds and I love to watch them feed. Now I just need to do some research so I can find out when and where to look for babies!

In Remembrance

Cover them over with beautiful flowers, Deck them with garlands, those brothers of ours, Lying so silent by night and by day Sleeping the years of their manhood away. Give them the meed they have won in the past; Give them the honors their future forcast; Give them the chaplets they won in the strife; Give them the laurels they lost with their life. ~Will Carleton

Memorial Day 2012

Summer Kick-off

Memorial Day weekend. The unofficial start of the summer season. Probably the first big travel weekend of the year. Campgrounds will be packed. The lakes will be filled with motor boats and jet skis. People everywhere will be nursing sunburns…

Well, not everywhere, I suppose. People here are not at risk of getting sunburned this weekend. Nor are our lakes and rivers at risk of being overloaded with boats.

Here it is raining. And cold. Very cold. Our temperatures are looking to be in the 40’s throughout the weekend. Not exactly camping weather.

We will be hunkered down, warm soup on the stove, hot cocoa nearby. A perfect weekend for a movie marathon.

Rob is on-call and I have to work, so we would not have been able to go anywhere anyway, but I think the weather has made many, many people rethink their weekend plans. I guess they can’t all be warm and sunny…

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Stay warm… and dry.  

 

Cherished Memories

I received a comment on my old farm blog today. When I went to read it, I couldn’t help but cruise around the site. It had been many, many months since I had visited.

The last time I was there, I was in a much different place. Looking through all the old pictures broke my heart. The change of plans. The broken dreams. The things that didn’t quite turn out the way we envisioned. 

The last time I was there, I saw Gretel’s eyes and begged her to come back to us. Begged for her forgiveness for giving her away. Hoped she was still the happy girl I remembered.

The last time I was there, I saw my husband tilling  up our garden. The garden that is now an overgrown weed field. The garden that we had such big plans for. I saw the orchard. The berry patch. Both of which are long dead now.

The last time I was there, I saw so much potential. All lost. Abandoned.  

Every time I thought about it, my heart broke. Over and over again.

So I didn’t go back. I kept the farm in the back of my mind always, but I couldn’t bear to see it. To be reminded of it time and time again.

But tonight. Tonight I went back. Tonight I told Gouda that I still miss him. Still love him. Always will. I saw my old chickens and laughed at how funny they were. I remembered all the beautiful sunsets from the farm.  

Tonight I looked back on the farm with different eyes. I looked back on it with the fondest of memories. I looked back on it with a thankful heart, grateful for the opportunity. 

Tonight I realized that we bought the farm for a reason. And we left it for a reason.

All the choices we have made, both good and bad, have brought us to where we are today. And while I miss the farm, there are no doubts in my mind that we are exactly where we need to be at this moment in time. Leaving the farm taught us a lot about ourselves. About buried dreams. New directions. Endless possibilities.    

I love hobby farming. Have my entire life. Someday, we will return. I know this. But not yet. We have things to do first. Places to go. Adventures to embark upon. Dreams to chase.     

So tonight, and for all the nights to follow, I am looking back on the farm with great appreciation. For the lessons learned. The memories. The opportunities. The life. The courage. The love. 

I cherish it all.