Some people are just naturals when it comes to dealing with other people. They always seem to know what to say and how to act. The art of communication comes so easy to them. Like breathing.
The same cannot be said about me.
I was a social basket case growing up. I had very few friends, dreaded having to pick my own partner for a project, got red in the face if I were called on in class. But I always thought it would get easier as I got older. That the ability to communicate with others would simply appear. I pictured myself coming off of the wall, walking up to someone of interest and striking up a conversation. I imagined the day when I would no longer be the quiet one. The boring one.
But that day never came.
And I got tired of waiting. And trying.
And I realized that I will always be most comfortable in the background. I will most likely never like large groups of people. I will forever get butterflies and sweaty palms when I am contemplating actually saying something to someone. But rather than fight who I naturally am, and get frustrated with myself over and over again for not being able to just break out of my shell, I have finally decided to accept it.
I will always be the awkward one. The one who never knows what to say. The one who will invite a wild moose over for tea, but can’t muster the courage to tell a stranger that I like her handbag. The one who hides behind her children. Or her husband. Or the camera. That’s me.
Plain. Simple. Me. And I’m alright with that.